Yes, I still watch it. And if you’re reading this, you probably do, too, so there. I was uncharacteristically positive about the new Lifetime version of Runway for a while, unlike many other bitter, sniping bloggers. While I agreed that it was a pale imitation of what it once was, it was only last night’s episode that made me think, wow…yeah. Kind of an overwhelming amount of suck there. Let’s explore why, shall we?
Cool that they went to the Getty Center, I guess, but really, the moment I most liked in the whole show was when Tim picked up some ugly green fabric and said “Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (I remembered that from high school French!) But then I immediately thought, oh jesus, don’t tell me Christopher is going to take his algae inspiration that literally, but of course, he was.
Let’s talk about Christopher for a moment. Like…why is Christopher still here? I like Christopher, but he has made so many things that can only be accurately described as appalling that I’m just scratching my head about his presence. And — again, while I do like him — when he got all choked up explaining, “Not many people could find beauty in algae-smeared fountain rocks like I can,” I thought, um, yes, they can. Someone made a piece inspired by a Polaroid of some New York City street puddle on this very show, not long ago. It was just embarassing, like the high school goth kid crying how no one understands him because he’s just too deep. No…they do. Then several people, I think even Nina, commented about how talented Christopher is, and I was like…really? But let’s move on.
Remember how a paragraph ago I said that my favorite part of the show was Tim Gunn saying “qu’est-ce que c’est?” There’s something very wrong if that was my favorite moment of the last runway before Bryant Park. Very, very wrong. Remember when Kenley almost bit it because she had “just” made a dress? They loved the dress, but Fern Mallis pointed out that she should have made a jacket or something to go with it, yet in this last runway challenge, EVERYONE made “just a dress” and no one said boo about it. And did anyone else have a hard time even checking out the dresses in the flash they appeared on the runway? Maybe I’m remembering wrong, but I thought the runway shots were totally rushed and I could barely get a good glimpse before they’d moved onto the next lackluster dress.
My God, even the nicknames are tired in the show now. “Meana Irina” when “Meana Garcia” was Nina’s well-publicized nickname at Elle? Yawn. And I think it’s funny how you don’t miss things until they’re gone: Case in point, Michael Kors. No one said he was great or essential to the show or anything but now that he’s barely on the show, everyone’s like, Hey! Where’s Michael Kors? We miss him. I miss him, too. And here’s another comment neither here nor here: Cindy Crawford seemed like a total bitch. Like, total effing bitch, man.
But I’ll dispense with the mundane runaway commentary and offer a suggestion. Other bloggers have lamented the lack of creativity in the challenges this season, so I have one. I’m sure many of you will accuse me of being an insensitive asshole, but wouldn’t it be great if they had the designers make an outfit for a developmentally disabled person? Stop cursing me and think for a second about the AWESOME stuff they would ask for. Funny hats, trains, working fountains, the sky would be the limit!! And how challenging it would be to get across their design aesthetic while still pleasing their clients? And how cute would Tim Gunn be interacting with them?
I think it’s a fucking fabulous idea. But maybe I’m just an asshole.
I hope Carol Hannah wins, but it will probably be that bitch Irina unless she sends nothing but the bear suits she appears obsessed with down the runway.